The full moon was mocking him.
Caeden Wolf glared up at the sky, growling beneath his breath, as if the moon were his mortal enemy. As if his low growl might frighten it into cooperation. His best friend, Jonathan MacArthur, patted him sympathetically on the shoulder.
"Don't worry, Cae," he said, in his gentle voice. Jon was always gentle. Gentleness was part and parcel of being an omega, of course, but there was more to it than that. Jon was kind and considerate and supportive, more so than anyone else in the Pack, which was why Caeden loved being around him. "The change is going to happen. It always does."
"Most people change the dawn of the day they turn twenty-one," Caeden answered glumly. "I've never heard of anyone having to wait for it."
"Yeah, but still, it's only eleven-thirty. Your twenty-first birthday isn't over yet."
It's damn close to being over, Caeden almost retorted, but he decided not to articulate the thought. Jon was right. There was no point in being negative. Everyone turned on their twenty-first birthday. That was just a simple fact of life, and there was no reason to imagine he would be any different.
Except... well, everyone else didn't have this heavy weight of expectations riding on their shoulders, did they? He wasn't just any wolf. He was the Wolf, heir to the Alpha, and by now he should have shifted into his wolf form for the first time, challenged his own father in ritual combat, and become the Alpha, leader of the Wolf Green Pack.
And instead he was hanging out here in the village green at the center of town, sitting on the grass and glaring up at the moon like it might somehow be the problem.
But no. The only problem here was him. There must be something wrong with him, something inadequate. Maybe he'd never really been meant to lead. Maybe he wasn't strong enough, powerful enough, decent enough. Maybe even if he changed, and challenged his father to the ritual fight, he'd lose, and everyone would laugh at him. And then he'd slink out of town with his tail between his legs, literally as well as figuratively, and Wolf Green would be lost to him forever...
"Stop worrying." Jon had correctly interpreted his facial expressions, just as he always did. He patted Caeden again, and moved a little closer to him. The village green was wet with dew, and it glimmered silver in the moonlight. The scent of blooming flowers hung heavy on the warm summer breeze, but the floral fragrance was as nothing next to the even sweeter scent of an omega. "You worry too much, Caeden. I know alphas are supposed to worry, but there's nothing to stress over, okay? You're going to change any minute now. I know it."
Caeden was silent for a long moment. At last he said, "What does it feel like? The change, I mean?"
Jon had passed his twenty-first birthday a few months earlier. His wolf form was unimpressive, small and brown and a bit scruffy, but he seemed to enjoy changing and engaging in typical canine pursuits--snuffling around the grass and trailing scents, scratching holes in the dirt with his front paws, or chasing squirrels in the forest. Caeden had been waiting for today eagerly, so that he could take the lead in hunting in the thick woods around the town. So that the two of them could hunt in their wolf forms, side by side. He'd been looking forward to it.
But so far, his birthday had been a complete and total disappointment.
"It's hard to describe," Jon answered. "Kind of weird, really. You can feel your bones rearranging, but it doesn't hurt. It just feels like everything inside you changes. And when you're in your wolf form, everything is just so... vivid. The smells, the sounds, the instincts..."
"I want to feel that." Caeden spoke quietly. "I was born to be a wolf. To be the Wolf. I want to know what it's like to embrace the animal inside."
"You will." Jon reached down and squeezed his hand. It was a private gesture of affection, one he never engaged in around other people. He was only a low-ranked omega, after all, and more than a few of the townspeople frowned upon the close friendship that had somehow developed between such an inferior wolf and the son of the Alpha. But Caeden had never cared about Jon's rank. Jon was his best friend, and that was all that mattered to him.
I hope you're right, Caeden thought, but he refrained from voicing the words. He glanced at Jon, seeing the faith and respect his friend had for him reflected clearly in the amber eyes. Jon believed in him. Jon believed unequivocally that he'd change, defeat the Alpha, and become the leader of the Pack.
And of course Jon was right. He'd been born to lead. He could do this. He had to do this.
He rose to his feet and looked up at the sky. The idea that a full moon was necessary to change was a myth, but it was generally acknowledged that a full moon made the first change a little easier.
This will be easy, he thought, staring at the bright silver moon. I'll change, and then I'll become the Alpha...
And then everything would change. His father would no longer be leader, and all the responsibilities and worries of running the Pack would become his. Jon would doubtless remain his friend, but the two of them would no longer have much free time to spend together. Even his dream of the two of them running in the woods together, side by side as wolves, wouldn't happen more than once or twice. He'd be expected to find a mate right away, to ensure the continuation of the Wolf line, and once he found her, he'd run by her side instead of Jon's.
The thought of running through the woods with some nameless beta female, rather than with Jon, caught at his chest. He didn't want that.
And yet he had no choice. His throat tightened and his muscles tensed. The change was coming. He could feel it.
Jon rose to his own feet, and stood by his side. Where he belongs, Caeden thought, but he knew it was ridiculous. Everyone knew an omega couldn't really stand next to an alpha. The Pack already frowned upon their friendship, and they'd never accept Jon as one of his deputies, let alone his--
Well, of course there was no question of Jon being his mate, he reflected, shoving the wayward thought away. Wolves tended toward bisexuality, more often than not, but alphas were always aggressively heterosexual, ensuring they carried on the alpha line. So of course he must be too. The fact that he relied on Jon for everything, that the two of them had been closer than brothers for years, only reflected the simple fact that they were friends. Best friends.
And their friendship would continue, even when he became the Alpha. He'd make sure of it. No matter what the Pack thought. No matter what Pack tradition demanded.
When he changed, he'd run in the woods with Jon by his side, damn it.
Always and forever.
He felt a strange sensation sweeping through him, a feeling of power and strength, like electricity pulsing through his veins. He threw back his head, letting the animal power surge through him, but as his head fell back he saw Jon out of the corner of his eye, saw the smaller man watching him expectantly.
All at once he knew he was deluding himself. His friendship with Jon had barely been tolerated, so long as they were only children. But when he changed, he wouldn't be a cub any longer, and a close friendship between a low-ranked omega and the Alpha couldn't be accepted by the Pack. If he insisted on keeping Jon as a friend, he wouldn't be able to win the respect and admiration an Alpha needed. Even defeating the current Alpha, his father, wouldn't be enough to secure their loyalty.
If he kept Jon by his side, he'd face challenge after challenge to his leadership, and the Pack would slowly be torn apart by strife.
He could see it as clearly as if it had already happened. It was inevitable.
The power that had surged through his veings seemed to trickle out of him, fading to nothingness, and he let it go. He turned to Jon, and shrugged.
"Nothing."
Jon looked at him, his forehead wrinkling in puzzlement. "For a minute I thought..."
"Me too. But it didn't happen."
"Okay." Jon gazed at him with affection clear in the amber eyes. "Then we'll wait. Together."
They settled back down on the grass, shoulder to shoulder, and waited. But midnight came and went, and Caeden didn't change.
And a part of him-- a large part-- was glad.
And look for the sequel, WOLF ALONE, coming soon.
